Tuesday, August 17, 2010

they laughed at me.

During our last IVF I complained to my online buddy group about the weight gain I was experiencing. I was complaining about having gained three pounds. All the other women in my group basically laughed at me. One woman had gained 30 pounds prior to getting her BFP. My 3 pounds probably seemed like some sort of joke. Oh, how I wish I could go back to that three pound heavier weight. I sit here today roughly 11 pounds heavier than I was last summer and 7 pounds heavier than last IVF. To put it bluntly, I feel like a fatty. A big ole fatty fat girl. I'm at a weight I haven't been at in 6 years. 6 years ago I lost roughly 30 pounds. I am now halfway to my heavy weight again. I was hoping to not get above a certain weight once I got pregnant and when we started TTC that weight was 25 pounds above what was my current weight. I am now only 15 pounds away from that weight and I'm feeling frustrated. I feel too fat to get pregnant. I want to be able to run 4 miles a day again! Oh well, someday. I keep reminding myself that if (when!) we get a baby out of this, it will all be worth it!

In other news, one of my worst fears was realized yesterday. When I came home from class last night, MBL let me know that a couple we know is pregnant for the second time. We have officially been lapped. She got pregnant the second month we were trying and had her baby in October, she is now about 5-6 weeks pregnant, likely due in April. So, someone has gotten pregnant, carried a baby to term, raised that child to 10 months old, and gotten pregnant again all in the time it has taken us to get to a place where we have a good shot at getting pregnant with our first child. I reacted like an infertile and cried while I sipped my beer. It was heartbreaking to hear. Especially since the husband told MBL by shoving the ultrasound picture in his face. MBL was not bothered by this, but I am. Especially since this couple knows what we have been through (they themselves actually took 22 months to conceive their first child, so I would expect them to have more tact). Oh well. At least they are a couple that I don't have to see very often.

And, finally, I GOT MAH PERIOD!!!! I got it Monday, so I am offically on day 3. I start stims on Saturday which is August 21st. The 21st has been a big day for us during our TTC journey. Our first two IUIs were on the 21st and our IVF transfer fell on the 21st. MBL doesn't think that this is a good sign because all of those other cycles failed, but I am still quite hopeful!! I just keep telling myself, "I will get pregnant, I will get pregnant." Let's hope next month I get to shout, "I'm pregnant!!"


  1. I am hoping you get to shout it, too!!! I put on about 5 lbs with IVF, which was hard because I liked my weight, but since pregnancy makes it a moot point I tried to remember that. I miss working out, too!

  2. I hate that we have no control over our bodies. I am currently 4 lbs over my goal weight, which is no big deal, but it is a constant struggle. between cycles there is alot of dieting that goes on, only to regain all the weight that was lost when I am back to TTC, it sucks.
    I am wishing you tons of luck with this new cycle!!!!!

  3. I am such a fatty fat right now from all of this, I feel like I may burst. Totally know what you mean about getting lapped, too. We've been lapped twice, and it sucks. I hope you are waving an US pic proudly after this cycle!

  4. I gained about 10 pounds. I don't know if it is the stress, lack of exercise, or the need to fill my face - but the weight came on so easily. If only it were that easy to come back off...

  5. I've also put on a few kilos, and I haven't even started stims yet. I start them today, so we should be on pretty similar schedules. Good luck!

    Sorry that you had to have an ultrasound waved in your face. That was so hurtful and thoughtless.