Monday, August 13, 2012

big changes, big plans, and big pants

I seem to have gone missing again. My absence is anything but intentional. To say that life has been busy the last 8 weeks would be a gross understatement. Essentially, MBL and I have been travelling every weekend since July 7th. Literally we have not spent a full weekend at home since June 30/July 1 and I had to work that weekend so I wasn't even really home. The reason for all of our travel? Well, big changes are coming for our family!!

First off, the big changes.

We are moving! We aren't moving that far, just across our state (2.5 hours), but it signifies a big change for our family. MBL has lived in the area since 2001 and I've lived here since I started college in 2003. The reason that we are moving is that I accepted a job. A job in the field for which I got my Master's. I will finally have the chance to put my $28,000 degree to use! Now, I have a tendency to say that this is my dream job, but we all know that my true dream job would be to have the priviledge of staying home with this cutie:

But, seeing as I am still the only one working in our house, that won't be possible any time soon. Both MBL and I are really excited about this move. The timing really couldn't be better. MBL has the chance to pursue new job opportunities and we both have the chance for a new start. Additionally, this allows me the chance to build up the hours I need to get my full licensure. Clocking those hours will allow me more flexibility in the future; it will mean that we could move pretty much anywhere in the country and I would be able to participate in a private practice. All good things.

Next, the big plans. Well, I am writing this post from our hotel room in Den.ver. What brings us to the state of Colorado? This place:

I guess you could say I've reached the point of no return. The next step that I want to take is whatever is most likely to end with me getting pregnant. After two failed IUIs and a failed IVF in the midwest, MBL and I decided to just go for it and visit the big guns out west. When I first started blogging I remember reading about people who visited CC.RM and I couldn't even fathom being able to visit the best of the best. Or, frankly, needing to visit the best of the best. Oh how naive I was! There are so many oddities in our IF journey that it seems necessary at this point to pull out all the stops. So, we flew out here for our one day work up. It'll be good to have answers. Well, hopefully we'll get answers. So far what we've gathered is that I don't have the fertility of a 26 year old, my uterus looks good, and I may need to worry that my tubes are blocked or that my stage one and a half endometriosis has gotten worse. My ultrasound study showed 12 follicles on my left ovary and ONE on my right. Not what I wanted to hear. She also saw eccogenic spots behind my left ovary and fluid in my uterus. All I wanted to hear was "You have a perfect uterus ready for a baby. Oh, and 20 perfect follicles." Always the optimist over here. I have an HSG scheduled for Thursday with my OB back home. With that I'm expecting to discover there are new obstacles with my fertility. At least it will be nice to have answers.

And, finally, the big pants!! Two days after Piper turned one I started training for a half marathon. I laced up my shoes and went for a six mile run.

It was hard and I hurt the rest of the day, but I continued to follow my training plan to a T. I went for short(er) runs 3 times a week and did a long run every Saturday. The result? Well, two weeks into July I was at a conference for work and I was seriously worried that our dryer wasn't working properly. I couldn't figure out why it wasn't drying my pants properly. Why did I think this? My pants felt so big. Usually if I put them in the dryer they shrunk right up to their right size and felt great, but my pants were feeling baggier and baggier... It took me two days to realize that my pants felt bigger not because of the dryer but because I was getting smaller!! All that running was paying off. Post-Piper I was wearing a size 12 and decided I would be perfectly happy getting into a 10 again. Well, I now own 4 pairs of size 8 pants and weigh 12 pounds less than I did when I got pregnant with P. Running has not only helped me shrink down, but it's helped me stay grounded. When I run I feel good. It doesn't matter that I am infertile or that I need IVF to get pregnant, I can just pound the pavement and allow the endorphins to flood over me. I went for a 10.5 miles run on Saturday just for fun and I spent the whole time thinking about all the good things ahead of us. Our upcoming move, my job change, and the babies in our future. I am clinging to hope, praying that the best is yet to come.

So, how are you all?? Anybody out there have any experience with CC.RM? Any other running addicts out there? What do you do to relax and let go?