well that settles it

So, no February baby for us! On Thursday I ended up testing with FRER and it was a BFN, so I took it as an invitation to indulge at the baseball game. And indulge I did :). A few $2 beers, one hotdog, and a pretzel with cheese later...I was feeling better (at least momentarily). Prior to the game I had MEGA PMS. Like I wanted to rip MBL's head off and stomp on it just because I was pissed about not being pregnant. My temp did shoot up Friday morning, but I think that was due to my indulgence Thursday night. I still tested with an IC, but it was BFN. I thought for sure that I was going to get AF on Friday or yesterday, but nope. Thankfully (yes, I am actually thankful), she held off until this afternoon. If she had come any earlier, we would not have been able to do an IUI this month because we will be travelling to Niagara Falls and Washington DC for a ten day trip and our clinic does not do IUIs on weekends (at least I'm pretty sure they don't). So, now we will be back just in time for a Monday, June 21 IUI. So, thank you 17 day luteal phase!

For this upcoming IUI cycle I am thinking about making some med changes without doctor approval, but I'm not sure if I will get the results I want. You see, in February I had four follicles on 100mg of clo.mid. This past month I *only* had two (doc still says that's an excellent response). I'm a greedy little bugger, so I want more than two for our June IUI. When we went to see the new RE, he gave me a new Rx for 100mg of clo.mid, but I still have one refill left on my old prescription. So, I have been considering taking 150mg. Anybody have any thoughts on that? I tried searching for answers on whether or not that would improve my chances of getting more follicles, but the general consensus seems to be that it depends on the person and the cycle. MBL thinks I should do it, but I'm still a little hesitant. So, I'd love your two cents!

I am feeling surprisingly okay about this BFN. After getting so many of them, I'm used to the idea. In the past we haven't kept our parents in the loop on our treatments (only telling them that we had done IUI and that we were going to do IVF, but no specific dates or anything). Well, I decided to let my mom in on what we were doing and when we were doing it. She was really cute about the whole thing and after our IUI she called to tell me that on the day we were having ours a woman in her school told her about her struggle with IF and how she got pregnant, with twins!, from an IUI. The woman happened to tell my mom this story on the very day we were having our IUI, so my mom saw this as a good sign. It was so sweet to hear how she was thinking of us that day and how she was praying that everything worked out. The reason I have kept most people out of the loop is the fact that I feel disappointed enough after each failed cycle, that I don't want to add on having to explain another BFN to other people as well. And while it still will be a bummer to tell my mom that it didn't work, it felt really great having her support and positivity during the cycle that I will likely keep her in the loop on the rest of our IUIs and our IVF.

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend! I've been working the whole time...but no complaints here, work equals money for the baby fund!!