spoke too soon

Remember that last post? Where I said the meaner version of my self post-clo.mid/pre-ovulation seems to be absent this month? Well, I was wrong. Somewhat. I'm not feeling near as pissy as I normally do, but I am feeling hormonal and quite upset. All it took? One innocent peek into a face.book photo album from a trip to Bor.a Bor.a. I seriously was expecting to just spend some time perusing photos from a vacation and then BAM! about five or so photos in I'm greeted with the most glorious, beautiful preggo belly. And immediately? I wanted to eat a whole box of donuts followed by an entire pizza and a case of beer, but first? I wanted to cry every tear I have left. The ironic thing about all of this? The album belongs to one of MBL's coworkers. A coworker who went out of his way to tell us that he and his wife needed fertility treatments to get all three of their children (assuming these pictures are recent, this is baby #4, and we have no idea if fertility treatments were used). I was already in the middle of a texting MBL and so I asked if he knew about this and he didn't. MBL thinks they didn't say anything because of our situation. Ugh. I kind of hate that we are the people from whom others have to hide their good news.

Okay, I REALLY hate that we're those people. But, I am going to feel envious of every preggo I encounter until I have my own belly to wield around. And even then, I cannot promise that I won't be overcome with feelings of envy. (I've heard that pregnancy does not an infertility scar erase). I have no doubt that MBL is now dreading coming home tonight as having Debbie Downer as a wife is about as much fun as having a root canal with no anaesthesia. Blah. How I wish we were doing IVF in July, just because that would mean it was one month sooner and my potential for a BFP that much closer!