optimism on the horizon

So, Thursday MBL and I drove an hour to see our RE at one of the practice's satellite offices. We had only met this RE once (during my ER), but he is the founder of our clinic and I was told by other women who go there, a more optimistic doctor than the RE we saw in the past. You see, there are two (well, now three) REs at our clinic and I started seeing our former RE because he had the first available appointment. We continued to see him for our reproductive care and planning and we were (mostly) satisfied with our experience. Until we got to our IVF cycle. He just seemed off...like in a funk or something. And what really upset me was after our ET he wheeled me to recovery to rest and the three of us (me, MBL, and him) were chatting when all of a sudden he just interrupted what MBL was saying and said, "I need to go, I have other patients." And walked away. It felt abrupt and a tad insensitive. I didn't want him to stand there and hold my hand or anything, but I also wanted to feel like he cared about us and our experience. And that comment just made me feel like I was another number. Then in our post (failed) IVF appointment, I came with a load of questions about next time and what we could potentially do differently to yield a positive result. I think I hit a nerve because he basically acted like there was nothing we could do to help things. Perhaps he thought I was questioning his expertise?

Anyways, I belong to a chat group of other women who go to my clinic and they all mentioned that this other RE was friendly and optimistic to the point of sounding fake (but it's not). I decided that is what I need and want! And he did not disappoint! He was fantastic. He listened to our concerns and came up with a plan accordingly. He even admitted that he thinks I should have started out on a higher dose of stims AND that I should have stimmed longer because most (meaning TEN) of my eggs were immature!! He did not think there was any problem with the quality of my eggs (take that other RE!). And, actually, he seemed to think that we could still get pregnant from an IUI. MBL's motility went up and his post was count increased a little and now that he has FINALLY stopped chewing, his count should go up even more. He said that if I'm not pregnant this month, then a week after AF arrives, he wants MBL to have another s/a. If there has been no change, then he wants us to do one more IUI and then IVF in August. If there is a change, he wants us to do two more IUIs and then IVF in August (actually, I think he would let us IUI for a while, but I start a school internship at the end of August and it is truly the last month for a while that we could feasibly schedule IVF). He was also willing to test my progesterone. The simple difference between him and our other RE is that he listened to what we were saying and came up with a plan that addressed our concerns.

There is still a chance I am KU this month, but if I'm not, I'm glad that we have a solid plan. I am going to call on Tuesday morning to be placed on the IVF schedule for August. We will have to put down a $700 "case management" deposit, but the RE said if we get pregnant from an IUI before then they will refund our money! He put it like this, "We don't want your money, we just want you to get pregnant!" Now THAT is just the kind of attitude I want my RE to have!!! So, I am feeling optimistic. And last night I had a dream that MBL and I were spending our Friday night chasing our one and a half year old boy around the house. And all I could think to myself was, "This is the best date night I've ever had!"