Friday, September 10, 2010

marking my territory

Let me begin by saying, I know that I am a crazy infertile. I know that "normal" people do not go around peeing on multiple sticks a day and obsessing about their results. Infertility has made me far from "normal" (whatever the heck that is). Normal people expect unprotected sex=baby. I expect temping, charting, several ultrasounds, lots of blood draws, over 100 injections, abstinence, antibiotics, anaesthesia, and a doctor between my legs will maybe *maybe* equal a positive HPT/beta. And then there are lots more hurdles to cross after that (second/third positive beta, ultrasound, heartbeat, 40 weeks). I know that for some people, taking HPTs is a real no no. For me, I don't want to be told by a nurse I've met only a handful of times an emotional message (either my BFP or my BFN). The nurses at my clinic are incredibly nice, but I'd just rather hear the news from myself and the confirmation from them. KWIM? I also like taking HPTs during my IVF cycle because it gives me a sense of control. I have so little in this process that I will take it where I can get it. I totally understand why some people choose to wait until beta day, I just can't. All that being said, the only reason I am posting on this is because I have reason to be hopeful. I've only gotten positive tests one other time (in july) and other than that I've gotten BFNs every other cycle. I tested out my trigger and my FMU (first morning urine) test on Wednesday (9dpo) was negative. Now on to the fun part.

So, yesterday I posted about how I *thought* I saw a line and how sitting in the living room gave me the best view. Well, later that day I needed to run to Tar.get/Wal.mart for some things and I just couldn't pass the HPTs without buying one (or 5!). Then I realized I had to pee, so I did the rational thing and held it until I got to Tar.get at which point I brought a FR.ER (my first of this cycle) into the bathroom with me and peed on it. I didn't want to sit there waiting for the result, so I stuck it in my purse, washed my hands, and walked to the women's clearance section. At that point I pulled it out and there it was! A clear second line. Still light, but no squinting needed! Since I didn't test out my trigger with FR.ER, I was only a tad bit excited. Falling asleep last night was awful! I just couldn't wait to get up and pee on whatever I could get my hands on!! So, I peed on a FR.ER, an An.swer Early, an IC, and a digi. The first three were definitely positive. The IC was the most positive with a nice thick pink line. The digi was negative. Stupid digis. I googl.ed them today at work and apparently they report their sensitivity as 50iu/mL, but I know some people get positives with only 25iu/mL. I'm not letting that negative defeat me, because I peed on FR.ER a few hours ago and it was my most positive one yet! They. are. getting. darker. Whoa. I will definitely pee on more tomorrow, because apparently I am canine and have the urge to mark my territory!

So, without further ado, the picture of what I believe to be the beginning of a positive:



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11 comments:

  1. I definitely see LOVELY lines! Congratulations!

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  2. Woohoo!!! I can def see those lines!!!

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  3. There are definitely lines there!!! Keep peeing!! WOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!

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  4. wooohoooo!!!! looks good!! So excited for you.

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  5. They look just as good on the computer as they do in person :-)

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  6. I see lines! My tests started out really faint too - actually, my husband found out by me asking him, "honey, am I losing my mind, or are there two lines on this thing?" The tests got darker over the next few days, and now I am 24 weeks pg. I'm excited for you, and wish you all the best!

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  7. Those definitely look like early positives to me!! Fingers crossed for you!

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  8. Yep, if they're getting darker, that's a great sign. I hope they get stronger and stronger until there's no more guesswork.

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  9. DEFINITELY a line!! Bummer about the digi. :-( Sorry if I mis-lead you. SOOOO excited for you!!!

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