Sunday, February 5, 2012



Ok, so I hate confrontation. I've spent a lot of my life avoiding it. I hate it when people get upset or angry and I usually do what I can to not cause waves. In the last two years, however, that has changed and I have become more of an advocate for myself. MBL and I sought a new RE when our local one tried to push donor eggs on me at 23! I went to a new OB when my old one wouldn't listen to my concerns. I walked away from a volunteer position when it was clear I was never going to do things right in the eyes of the Director. I'm very clearly willing to walk away from unhealthy situations. So, what does this have to do with anything? Well, MBL and I have an appointment on Wednesday with the local RE to discuss the mess that was our last IUI.

If you don't want to go back and read, basically we had to freeze MBL's sample because he had to be out of the COUNTRY for work. He had a great pre-freeze count of 96 million! When it came time for our IUI, however, somehow the sample had dropped to 1.5 million. On top of that, the nurse who was supposed to do the IUI let the new nurse do it WITHOUT asking my permission. It was awkward and painful. I spotted for the first time EVER after an IUI and I think a lot of it had to do with having the new nurse doing it. She struggled to get the speculum in and I sat there for literal MINUTES thinking she had the catheter in for the actually IUI, when in actuality, she was still doing something with the speculum! And I seriously think she cranked that thing as wide as it would go! OUCH!!!! For the record, I am ALL about helping medical professionals by being a "guinea pig" of sorts. I've allowed more than one new tech to do my TV ultrasounds because they have to learn somehow, right? BUT, I was always asked prior to them doing it. In this case, had I been asked, I would have said "no". I had just found out that my husband's sample had dropped an astounding 98.5% and I was all by myself. I wanted the procedure to be as pain-free and relaxing as possible. Instead, I got a nurse who had no idea what she was doing and ended up causing me quite a bit of pain. I even tried to say something about how much it was hurting and all the "supervising" nurse said was, "You're doing great, hon." AGH!!

So, on Wednesday I have to go into the RE's office and ask if they will cover this month's IUI. And I have no idea how to achieve that. I want to be polite, but forceful. Is that even possible? I really feel like they are responsible for a large part of it going "wrong". I mean, something had to have happened for MBL's count to have dropped so dramatically. I should have been called about that and I really should have been asked if I was okay with a new nurse doing the IUI (did I mention she could barely even get the speculum in?). The whole thing just leaves me with an icky feeling.

Do any of you have pointers on what to say? Words of encouragement? Any experience asking for such a thing? I'm looking for all the help I can get with this :).


  1. I think you most definitely have a case. That is a lot of money to pay for less than best treatment. I'd take a notecard with a list of points you want to make. Not being called when your husbands sperm sample so dramatically dropped is HUGE in my mind. That could have been a deal breaker for you - considering how much money you were investing. {Although - I don't know for sure, but I feel like a Dr. should offer to wait for a better sample in cases like that}.

    I'd be firm - and if they don't comply, I don't know if this is possible, but say that you know of other RE's that could get the job done with better treatment and you are willing to walk {if you are}.

    I know how hard it can be to find a doctor that you like. If this were a regular OB for me, I'd probably leave. I don't know how hard it is to find an RE you like.

    *hugs* and best of luck!

  2. You just have to be firm and not take no for an answer! Good luck girl!