Saturday, October 30, 2010

coming out

All along our infertility journey I knew that when we got pregnant, I would never hide how we conceived. I do not have any shame over the fact that we used IVF...afterall, if I had any other disease I would seek out treatment and I really don't see infertility as being any different. Truthfully, making a baby the old fashioned way would have been far cheaper, but the fact that we needed help (and spent a lot of money to get here) does not embarass me in the slightest. I didn't really tell the whole world about our infertility treatments when they were going on because I just couldn't handle having people ask me how things were going. We told our families and some friends, but that was it. Now that we are pregnant, however, when we tell people the news we always share how we got here. There are a lot misconceptions out there about infertility and IVF and I figure if I can give a face to the disease and IVF, then maybe I can help people see what an amazing thing it is (IVF, not infertility). MBL is on board with this too and has proudly shared with nearly all of his coworkers that we are pregnant and that we needed not one, but two IVFs to get here.

I also hope that by sharing my story, others will feel like they can share theirs as well. MBL actually discovered that several of his coworkers went through IVF as well, something he may not have learned if he hadn't been honest. Today, I shared with a woman at work that I was pregnant (she's the only one there who knows) and that it took 2 years and 2 IVFs to get here. She shared that she too had been down that road and we commiserated on how painful it can be. Unfortunately, she was not successful with her treatments. It breaks my heart that this wonderful lady has not yet gotten her miracle BFP. And to think I never would have found out that she and I shared a similar journey if I hadn't been willing to share mine with her. I have really been thinking a lot about infertility and just how hard the whole thing is lately. I know that I am so lucky to be where I am, but that doesn't make me forget the shots, the ultrasounds, and the negative pee sticks I encountered before I got here. I'm thinking about and praying for all of you still waiting for your BFP, hoping that your wait won't be too long!!

6 comments:

  1. Every time I am open about how we conceived I am floored by all the people who share similar journeys. It's a good feeling, right? To give someone else the ability to be open? And we will never forget!

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  2. We want to come out after we succeed too to encourage others although I am not as courageous as you and kind of nervous about it. But when I am in the waiting room at the RE and I see how diverse and crowded it is, i realize how many people go through this.

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  3. Love that you're open and honest! We are as well, not with the whole world yet since we don't have our BFP (yet!) but we will be when the time comes. No shame at all in using medicine to achieve a cure and success! I too think it helps others who aren't aware of the amazing online community of support to hear they aren't alone. I would be lost if I didn't have my blog friends to go to for support and strength! I'm also loving that MBL is on board with sharing too! My hubs has gotten more open through all of this and willingly talks about things I never thought he would with our close friends and family!

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  4. I totally agree. It is the same reason I have been so open about our miscarriage. There is healing in sharing our sufferings. :-)

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  5. When I finally opened up about our troubles TTC I found many other people going through or had been through the same issue. It's not until you say "We had trouble" will others say "We are/did too". It's great to be able to connect!

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