Sunday, October 24, 2010

so overdue for an update

My apologies for taking more than a week to post an update. It's been pretty busy around here and I've been struggling to come up with a way to articulate my emotions. Being pregnant after IF isn't as easy as I thought it would be. I mean I expected some anxiety, but I have been surprised with just how guarded I have felt about things. Infertility just led me to believe that the other shoe will always drop and it hasn't. My spotting actually stopped a week ago (which means only one more week until I am off pelvic rest :), which was weird at first because I had grown so accustomed to it, but now I am thankful that each trip to the bathroom isn't filled with anxiety about what I am going to find. The spotting was one of the main reasons that I felt like something bad was still going to happen and now it's gone and I don't know how to function without the anxiety. So, in the middle of last week my nausea eased up quite a bit and I was convinced something had happened. For two whole days I could eat what I wanted and didn't have any strong aversions. MBL thought I was crazy for being worried over the absence of nausea...but I was still scared over it. Then it came back in full swing on Thursday and I was wishing it would go away again. It's a crazy ride and poor MBL is just trying to be as helpful and supportive as possible.

Speaking of Thursday, it was my birthday! I am now 25. My goal was to be pregnant by this point, so I felt like I got what I wanted for my birthday, but to top it off I got the chance to spend the last three days with my family! My mom came Thursday night, my dad, younger sister, and her boyfriend came on Friday, and then yesterday was spent hanging out with my older sister, husband, and nephews. I had an awesome birthday weekend and it felt so nice to spend time with my family. We went to the local zoo yesterday for a Halloween event and then hung out with my nephews at our house and the whole experience was just perfect.

Finally...I think I may be able to start breathing a little easier. I ordered a doppler two weeks ago, it arrived early last week, and on Friday MBL and I were able to find the baby's heartbeat for the first time!! My mom and younger sister were even able to hear it Friday night! It was in the 160-175 range, so right on target :). We were also able to find it yesterday, but today it appears to be hiding. I promised MBL that I wouldn't freak out if on some days we weren't able to find it, but I'm hoping that most days we can find it beating away. It is so reassuring to be able to find the baby at home!


  1. YAY!! Love hearing that heartbeat. :-) My symptoms came and went all the time (and subsided around 10 weeks... but took until 13ish weeks to completely go away). TOTALLY normal. That is good that you were able to get a doppler. I had thought about it, but now I can feel my babe move, so it works just as good to reassure me. :-)

    Happy birthday as well!! :-)

  2. make sure that you use some kind of gel or liquid, it really helps the heartbeat to come in clear. I was using aloe gel (the sunburn kind) and then switched to just getting my belly wet with a washcloth and it REALLY helped the sound and was easier to find!

  3. The heartbeat is awesome...I wish we could afford a doppler. It's a rollercoaster for sure. I have been sooooo sick, but on days I wasn't I freaked, too. Few more weeks til 2nd tri...that will help, trust me. It's reassuring. I can't feel movement yet, but I can palpate my uterus and tell where she is sitting.

    Happy Birthday! I got an ET for my birthday that turned into a BFP...fabulous, isn't it?

  4. Happy Birthday! :) I definitely understand the anxiety. We rented a baby heartbeat monitor and I'm so glad that we did. It really helped!