Wednesday, April 14, 2010

relieved? thankful?

So, Monday morning I suprised myself yet again. I found myself thankful. Thankful in a way that I was not expecting. You see Monday was my first real day off in about 16 days. I just started a new job and have been busy orienting and still working my other job. So, I had planned on Monday being a completely "me" day. I didn't want to worry about cleaning or organizing the house...I just wanted to veg all day and relax. When I finally got dressed for the day, it was 2:00. In the afternoon. And that's when I (briefly) felt thankful. Thankful that I could recharge and reenergize for another busy week. Thankful that I could sleep in and not have to worry about my responsibilities. (Sort of) thankful that it was just me that I had to worry about. Now, I am in no way saying that I *should* always be thankful at my ability to sleep in because I am childless...I don't think it's fair to us infertiles to suggest that the rare perks of our condition are worth the struggle. For one thing, if we had a child, or even if I were expecting, I would not have to work two jobs. I am working 45+ hour weeks so that if we need it, we will be able to afford IVF again. But, for a few minutes, I was blissfully content that at 2:00pm, I could just begin getting dressed and ready for the day.

Another funny Monday story, when MBL got home from work we went for a walk with our dog and then came back to watch the movie that had just arrived in the mail. The movie was the sequel to Twi.light. MBL LOVED the first movie and was more excited than I to watch the second. When it ended he said, "That's it? UGH! When does the next movie come out?" AW. He likes vampire romance movies!

Finally, I have been trying to eat better. The HC suggested that I eat less carbs/sugars and more fruits and veggies. So, I went out and bought a 5 pound bag of oranges with the intention of replacing my afternoon Peep with a healthy, plump orange. Well, I've been avoiding them. There's something about the white stuff that's left behind after it's peeled that just skeezes me out. And I hate the way it tastes. But after weighing in this morning, I knew that the Peeps and I had to break up and that the oranges on my counter were the only reasonable substitution. So, I ate one. And the peeling of it was just as icky as I had imagined. But, it tasted pretty darn good. Maybe I can get MBL to peel them for me...That would make the experience much more enjoyable for me.

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