Wednesday, April 18, 2012

a black and white dress

Roughly 20 months ago, I wore a black and white dress to my internship. It was a day I will always remember because it was the very first time in my whole life that I knew a nurse from my RE's office would be calling with good news. It was the first time I was going to hear "You're pregnant" from a medical professional. I drank a cherry root beer and celebrated with MBL. After 21 months, I was pregnant. Officially.

Today, I also wore a black and white dress. Albeit, a slightly different one. And I wore it with red heels, just to spice it up. BUT, when I came home from work, it was not with great anticipation or excitement. Instead, I picked up sushi and two beers from the grocery store. And a donut, just to balance things out.

In case you didn't gather from the above, this cycle is very likely a BFN. I say very likely because, due to a lab snafu, I did not get the official beta results today. Thank goodness I wasn't waiting on positive results!

We have a plan. Well, I have a plan and MBL has approved parts of it. He's been busy with work this week, so I haven't had a chance to really talk with him about all the gory details. So, I've asked him to go on a date with me Friday afternoon so that we can weigh all the options and really talk about what the best route is. Here are some of the things rolling around in my mind:

-MBL needs a sper.m DNA test. ASAP. It takes nearly a month to get the results back, so I'm hoping to send it out Friday.
-I plan on seeing a Reproductive Immunologist. There is one in the Chi.cago area, so it would be easy(ish) to travel to an appointment.
-We need to set up a consult with our current RE to see if he is (reasonably) confident that he can get us pregnant again. I mean our case doesn't seem THAT complicated, but I don't want to continue on with him if he is losing hope.
-I want to do a clo.mid/injectables IUI in May/June before I go on BCP for IVF again. It would give us one last less expensive chance at conceiving before forking over $10,00+ for IVF (again).

Have I mentioned lately that infertility sucks? Because it does.


  1. Oh no. I'm so sorry! *hugs* Stupid infertility!!! *shakes fist* Hope you guys come up with a plan that you both feel good about. And maybe even if the doc feels good about him getting you pregnant again, ask him if he's being aggressive enough??? I don't know. I just hate that there are no good answers. but the sperm check sounds like an excellent idea. :)

  2. I'm so sorry! :( But I'm glad you have a plan and will be putting it into action asap!! I can commiserate with you - we're going next Friday for our RE consult for #2 and I'm so anxious about what he'll say and what the news will be. It truly shouldn't be so hard for those of us who want a build a family to do so. Hugs friend! Enjoy that beer and your date with hubs to work out the next details!

  3. Hello from ICLW. #99

    So sorry to hear that this cycle didn't work out for you.

    Wishing you the best of luck with your next steps.

  4. I loooooooove the name Piper :) Someone has a first birthday coming up and let me tell you -the 1st birthdays are the BEST!! Good luck on getting baby #2 and making Piper a big sister :) I hope you and your hubby had a great date :)

    Dropping by from ICLW - #86