Wednesday, July 14, 2010

still sinking feeling

So, today I'm mindlessly checking and I notice a post on a friend's page from one of MBL's coworkers. This post mentions aversions to food and an ultrasound. Then it registers, "Holy crap, this coworker's wife is pregnant!" And then I immediately feel my stomach drop out of my body. Yes, this is a typical reaction to a pregnancy announcement for me, but what really upset me about this one? In November when MBL and I were going through our first IVF we were over at a friend's house and this coworker and his wife were there. When someone said something about them having kids her response was this, "Ick, babies!" The first word was actually more like a noise than an actual word, but she responded with pure disgust to the idea of having children and now she gets to be pregnant before me??? Seriously??? Gah!!

In other news, MBL is (was?) having cold feet about our shared risk decision. It makes sense because it is a huge financial decision and it is scary, but it will be a very temporary setback in our life and what is money without a family with whom to share it? I think he's feeling more settled about it now. But, reaching his understanding involved a minor meltdown on my part and a bit of frustration on his. Good thing I read the above post after we had settled things, otherwise the meltdown may have been more dramatic.


  1. Ugh, I'm sorry about the pregnancy announcement. It's even worse when it comes from people who don't want to have kids. One of my best friends is about to have a baby and she's still irritated that she's pregnant because she didn't want to have kids for a long time. I keep reminding her how blessed she is.

    Sigh... IF really sucks.

  2. Right? Why do really fertile women complain about pregnancy to us? Do they really not THINK about what they are saying? I'm so sorry sweetie...

  3. Oh how I know that feeling when there is a pregnancy anouncement, the entire world stops for a terrible second. I hope you guys can come to a decision you can both live with in terms of the shared risk program. I hate that having a family has to cost so much money!!!!

  4. I understand totally too... each and every announcement makes me feel more like a failure as a woman... there is something WRONG with me. I hope this cycle coming up is IT for you. :)