sacrifices

Around September of 2004 I began running. I had never been a runner and when I started I wasn't very good at...I got winded after two minutes and had to walk. BUT, I kept at it and within a few months I was running 5, 6, 7 miles at a time. In 2006 I ran a 25k (15.5 miles) and in 2007 I ran it again. I had plans to run the same distance in 2009, but I kept thinking, "Oh, I shouldn't train too hard, I'm probably going to get pregnant." Well, when May came (the month of the race) and I still was NOT pregnant, I decided to run a shorter, 6.2 mile race instead. I kept running 4-6 days a week until we went to see our RE in july and he told me that if I used Clomid, then I probably should give up running. So, I did. Well, I still ran the first three days of my cycle, but then nothing after that. In November, I stopped running all together. It was a huge sacrifice for me, but I thought it would better our odds for IVF. The last three months I have had a hard time scraping myself up from the floor and the disappointment of our failed IVF. I did not run a single step, until Friday. I ran 3.3 miles and it was glorious. Kind of. It would have been more glorious without the extra 10 pounds I've put on since I started fertility treatments. I blame infertility. Not my desire to sit on my butt until it hurts watching tv. Well...I'm kind of sick of all the sitting and I'm making a new commitment to taking care of myself. As soon as I kick my sinus infection in the butt, I am planning on getting back into my running routine AND I plan to lose 15 pounds. The hubs and I are taking the next three months to get in better shape and health before we do any more fertility treatments, so I have the space to fulfill this goal. I want to get down to my goal weight by June 11. I plan on "bribing" myself to get to that number. My first bribe for myself? A haircut. I desperately need one, but the cost is so crazy that I really should do something in order to earn it (the hubs is blissfully unaware of how much I spend on my hair :). I have always enjoyed making hair changes when I am coping with emotional distress, and all this TTC is really distressing. SO, I have REALLY been craving a haircut/color. I would like to reach my first goal of losing five pounds in the next 2-3 weeks so that I can tend to the only accessory I wear every day. We'll see how I do!

Another sacrifice I've recently made? Caffeine. I've been trying to cut my intake down to 22 milligrams a day. And at some point I'd like to get even lower. Anything to improve our odds :). Too bad I'm basically cutting all the fun out of my life!!