Saturday, after much drama from my clinic, we started stims for IVF #3. My doc had me on 375 units of Brav.elle, 7 units of low dose HCG, and 5 units of lu.pron. I'm not feeling much. And, actually, on Saturday I had my best run of my post-partum life. I ran 4 miles in 45 minutes and, actually, had one 10 minute mile. Woop woop. I sure hope that's my last 10 minute mile for a while ;).
Anyways, he started me out at 375, which didn't surprise me. It's a dose more commonly seen in women in their thirties, but my ovaries are clearly not spring chickens. (no offense to you women in your thirties, clearly my body thinks that's how old I am). I have had a feeling all along that this cycle would work, but that we would not have stellar numbers. Or rather, I would not have stellar numbers. The nurse called with my new instructions and my levels and confirmed what I was thinking. After 3 days of stims my estradiol was only 117. It's no shock that the doc upped my Bra.velle dose to 450 units. The nurse was very sweet and assured me that things are looking very similar to our successful cycle... My estradiol at this point last time was 145. So, yes, very similar, but it's still looking like it's going to take a lot more for my body to get going. In case you aren't familiar with the cost of IVF, taking 450 units a day of injectable medications means that I am spending roughly $372 a day JUST on that medication. That's a whole lot of money I am dumping into my body on a daily basis.
My blood results really sent me into a funk. While I know deep down that my body is just not performing like it should (meaning like a 26 year old), I still keep holding out hope that somehow I'm going to start having amazing results. The delusional part of my brain keeps thinking that maybe I'll end up with 10 mature eggs and 2-3 5 day embryos that are perfect. In all reality, I will be LUCKY if I end up with 5-6 mature eggs and THRILLED if I had 2-4 embryos on day 3. And I will probably collapse (out of shock), if I have several 6-8 cell embryos on day 3. And I am so scared that I will have nothing on day 3 or that I will only have 1 or 2 mediocre quality embryos. And part of me is scared of a BFN, but not really. Am I making any sense? I really don't want another BFN, but I'm at peace and really praying this all works out and I get my BFP.
All this IVF stuff is just so exhausting. I'm already tired of shots. I'm already tired of blood draws and I'm really dreading my ultrasound on Thursday (appointments with the vag cam just really get old). BUT, I am thankful that we can afford IVF. Thankful for a shot at another baby. And thankful that I have Piper smiles and giggles to keep me going.
Now can I just fast forward to the day I get my positive test?
What is your least favorite part about TTC? Do you have decent veins for blood draws? What do you wish was different about your fertility?