And I am still pregnant! I am trying to keep myself busy and keep my mind off what is ahead of me. This past weekend was supposed to be my graduation from grad school, so my parents' were in town from Chi.cago. During the middle of last week I just wasn't sure that I actually wanted to attend my graduation. It was 2 hours away and the closest hospital is just not top notch. I was leaning more towards not going when I got a call from the school that the campus was being shut down due to the rota.virus and graduation was being postponed to this upcoming Saturday (the 21st). That helped me with my decision :). I decided to think of this past weekend as my last without children and just enjoy lots of adult time. We went shopping, out to my favorite restaurants, and stayed up late playing cards. It was awesome.
Also, on Saturday, MBL and I had a date at the local cloth diaper store. I don't know if I've mentioned it on here, but MBL and I are planning on cloth diapering. It was always my intention to cloth diaper, but it took some convincing to get MBL on board. I had done my research and decided to get a good supply of pocket diapers--I have mostly Bum.Genius one size. They seemed like they were easy, reliable, and well rated. MBL has it in his head that prefolds would be the best for him, but I wanted to check them out in person. Thankfully, we have a local store where we could go and check them out. The woman who runs the store is incredible and was so helpful! She showed us exactly how prefolds work and gave us helpful tips on washing/using them. I have to say, I think MBL may be right on this one! I am so excited to cloth diaper her, it is ridiculous! The plan is to start using cloth diapers as soon as we use the supply of disposables that we have (one box of newborns and one box of size ones).
Speaking of her getting here, I find myself in some sort of limbo. Every night I go to bed wondering if she will be arriving the next day, sort of excited and sort of scared. I want to meet my daughter and get this parenthood thing started, but I'm also completely aware that her arrival will forever change our lives. I guess after going through infertility, I just never considered that I'd actually get to the point where I would need to prepare my life for a baby. Sounds silly, right? With all we went through to get here, actually bringing home a baby seemed too unrealistic. And now she is coming! I've been contracting off and on since Saturday, I've started to dilate, and we've completely prepped her room. Now all that is standing in my way is labor and delivery and then I will be a parent. And, truthfully, it still hasn't really sunk in. I mean, I can go and sit in the rocker in her room and look around at all the baby furniture and I'm still in disbelief. During my first trimester I wrote a post about feeling like I was holding my breath, just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Someone wrote a comment on how they held their breath all the way to the delivery room. I thought they were crazy! All I could think was, how could you be pregnant for 9 months and still not believe there would be a baby at the end? Apparently it's not that hard because here I am, full term, and still in shock that in mere days I will be giving birth to my daughter. I guess the sting of infertility really hasn't gone away.
All I can say is, I think the only thing that will smack me back to reality is actually going through labor/delivery and holding my baby in my arms...then it should all sink in, right?