Sunday, April 24, 2011

it's just soooo not about that...

So, I debated blogging about this because it's kind of personal, but after giving it some thought, I decided I need to express my feelings about this matter.

Last weekend was our baby shower in Chi.cago. That's where I grew up and where most of my extended family still lives. We don't have any family nearby (my older sister lives the closest at 2.5 hours away)... Actually, we don't have any of my family nearby and MBL's family is just not the type that gets together that often (they live 45 minutes away). Anyways, whenever we have a shower or celebration, it's always in Chi.cago because that's where my parents, cousins, aunts, and uncles live. So, naturally, our shower was there. (Oddly enough, the point of this post is not the location of our shower...) For our baby shower, my mom arranged to have it at a restaurant basically right across from their house. Everything about our shower was perfect and more than I could have asked for; from the delicious food to the decorations to the picture perfect diaper cake my sister created. MBL and I both felt so special and the whole day was a celebration of this new little girl we are adding to the family. Such special people attended the shower, including my beyond adorable great aunts and even a great uncle. I have an amazing extended family and it felt so nice to see them and to have them celebrate with us.

Besides their presence, our guests also showered us with presents. To have people go out and purchase items that we need and want for our daughter, to show their love and excitement for us in that way, is just so special to me. Their mere attendance would have been enough, but we were given an abundance of items that will hopefully make our new journey as parents a little easier and less expensive (let's face it, IVF is NOT cheap). We received most of the items that were on our "must have" list and a lot that will just be fun and cute to have. After all the presents were opened, I thanked everyone for coming and celebrating the joy of our upcoming arrival with us and I sincerely meant every word. Even if we had been given 100 receiving blankets and none of the items on our registry, I still would have felt so blessed that our family and friends took time out of their busy schedules to celebrate with us.

Which brings me to something that really peeved me off. Without getting too specific, a certain attendee at our shower who comes from money made a comment to a member of my immediate family about how boring our shower was and how all we did was eat, talk, and open presents. He then went on to say that the shower was really pointless as my parents likely spent more money on the shower than we received in gifts!!! Seriously??? That's what matters? How much the sum of our gifts comes out to be? I must have missed the memo on that one. Thinking about that comment still makes me feel sick. And I'm peeved that hearing about it made me feel bad about the cost of the shower. My mom and dad are generous with their time, love, and, yes, money. They don't have a lot, but they enjoy spending it on their children...I know they were happy to have the shower for us and never would have thought about the cost of the shower versus how much we received. After hearing about this comment, my mom even said that they could have given us the money they spent on the shower (instead of actually throwing us one), but that throwing the shower was so much more meaningful. And I know she means that. I just hate that this one person had to go and rain on my beautiful day. And I hate that there are people out there who think that way. I hate it because MBL and I both realize just how freakin' lucky we are to be having this baby. We know that there are lots of couples out there who would love to have their own baby shower. Couples, who like us, don't care about the presents they receive because they know that they have already been given the most precious one. As an infertile, I was thanking God that my dream of having a baby shower for our baby was actually being realized. I was not always sure that the day would come... So, even though our baby didn't receive a solid gold rattle as a gift, I still feel so flippin' fortunate for what we have been given and the people in our lives who are able to recognize the important things in life (like celebrating with family and friends and not focusing on material possessions).

(Oh, I should add that this attendee is planning on TTC at the start of 2012 despite spending 20 minutes at Christmas telling me just how much he can't stand children and how loud and disruptive they are... So, of course, he'll probably "get pregnant" on the first month of trying... Grrrr!!!)

1 comment:

  1. Why why why do people like that have children??? Sigh. I am sorry he put a damper in the day, but remember all the good and how loved you and this little girl are :-)