Sunday, April 24, 2011

it's just soooo not about that...

So, I debated blogging about this because it's kind of personal, but after giving it some thought, I decided I need to express my feelings about this matter.

Last weekend was our baby shower in Chi.cago. That's where I grew up and where most of my extended family still lives. We don't have any family nearby (my older sister lives the closest at 2.5 hours away)... Actually, we don't have any of my family nearby and MBL's family is just not the type that gets together that often (they live 45 minutes away). Anyways, whenever we have a shower or celebration, it's always in Chi.cago because that's where my parents, cousins, aunts, and uncles live. So, naturally, our shower was there. (Oddly enough, the point of this post is not the location of our shower...) For our baby shower, my mom arranged to have it at a restaurant basically right across from their house. Everything about our shower was perfect and more than I could have asked for; from the delicious food to the decorations to the picture perfect diaper cake my sister created. MBL and I both felt so special and the whole day was a celebration of this new little girl we are adding to the family. Such special people attended the shower, including my beyond adorable great aunts and even a great uncle. I have an amazing extended family and it felt so nice to see them and to have them celebrate with us.

Besides their presence, our guests also showered us with presents. To have people go out and purchase items that we need and want for our daughter, to show their love and excitement for us in that way, is just so special to me. Their mere attendance would have been enough, but we were given an abundance of items that will hopefully make our new journey as parents a little easier and less expensive (let's face it, IVF is NOT cheap). We received most of the items that were on our "must have" list and a lot that will just be fun and cute to have. After all the presents were opened, I thanked everyone for coming and celebrating the joy of our upcoming arrival with us and I sincerely meant every word. Even if we had been given 100 receiving blankets and none of the items on our registry, I still would have felt so blessed that our family and friends took time out of their busy schedules to celebrate with us.

Which brings me to something that really peeved me off. Without getting too specific, a certain attendee at our shower who comes from money made a comment to a member of my immediate family about how boring our shower was and how all we did was eat, talk, and open presents. He then went on to say that the shower was really pointless as my parents likely spent more money on the shower than we received in gifts!!! Seriously??? That's what matters? How much the sum of our gifts comes out to be? I must have missed the memo on that one. Thinking about that comment still makes me feel sick. And I'm peeved that hearing about it made me feel bad about the cost of the shower. My mom and dad are generous with their time, love, and, yes, money. They don't have a lot, but they enjoy spending it on their children...I know they were happy to have the shower for us and never would have thought about the cost of the shower versus how much we received. After hearing about this comment, my mom even said that they could have given us the money they spent on the shower (instead of actually throwing us one), but that throwing the shower was so much more meaningful. And I know she means that. I just hate that this one person had to go and rain on my beautiful day. And I hate that there are people out there who think that way. I hate it because MBL and I both realize just how freakin' lucky we are to be having this baby. We know that there are lots of couples out there who would love to have their own baby shower. Couples, who like us, don't care about the presents they receive because they know that they have already been given the most precious one. As an infertile, I was thanking God that my dream of having a baby shower for our baby was actually being realized. I was not always sure that the day would come... So, even though our baby didn't receive a solid gold rattle as a gift, I still feel so flippin' fortunate for what we have been given and the people in our lives who are able to recognize the important things in life (like celebrating with family and friends and not focusing on material possessions).

(Oh, I should add that this attendee is planning on TTC at the start of 2012 despite spending 20 minutes at Christmas telling me just how much he can't stand children and how loud and disruptive they are... So, of course, he'll probably "get pregnant" on the first month of trying... Grrrr!!!)

Thursday, April 21, 2011

thirty five...

So, this post is a little late... On Monday I reached a magical point, 35 weeks and 35 days away from my due date! I first heard about that milestone on another blog and could not imagine ever reaching that point, but I did! And now I'm only 32 days away from my due date. After 21 months of TTC and 220 days of pregnancy, 32 days seems SOOOO short! I'm still in shock that in a very short amount of time I will have a daughter! Here are some thoughts on my impending due date and my journey thus far:

-For starters, I am VERY lucky. I think about that fact every. single. day. A week ago, MBL and I were talking about what we went through to get here and all he could say was, "We are so lucky." And, we are, we really are.
-I have been to my parents' house twice in the last three weeks and the last time we were there, I could not help but think about when we were there for our IVF cycle that got us pregnant. I told my mom that I could not believe that while we were sitting there playing cards after my transfer, our little embryo was dividing and implanting and becoming our baby. Even crazier is the fact that we have a picture of our daughter when she was a 3 day old embryo!! WOW. Science is cool.
-MBL and I are both surprised and happy with how well my body has handled pregnancy. I still feel pretty good (most of the time) and getting around is still totally doable. Lots of women on my due date board are complaining about how they are unable to do their every day tasks because of how they are feeling and I have to be honest, I cannot relate! While I may not be able to reach my toes (or lotion up my legs), I can still run errands, clean, and do what I need to do! Again, I realize that I am VERY lucky that pregnancy has been so kind to me.
-While I am still feeling well, I am still pretty excited at the prospect of her arrival. I'm not ready for her to come out right now, but I'd love it if she came a few days early. I just want to meet her!! She's been rolling around a ton and sticking her booty up in the air and I just want to examine her toes, fingers, and face in person!
-I think about my fellow bloggers who are still waiting for their miracle I pray that each of you get what you want on this journey!!

Monday, April 11, 2011


Two weeks ago MBL and I left on our "babymoon". We went to Orla.ndo, which was an amazing escape from Michi.gan. When we left, it was 16 degrees in our town and when we arrived in Flo.rida it was 90! And it felt heavenly! Winter here starts in early November and tends to last through the end of March and sometimes even into April... On average we experience five months of winter, my least favorite season. We have plans to move to a warmer climate in the next five-ish years :). Anyways, I am so grateful that MBL and I got the chance to go away together one last time before the baby's arrival because I have been told life will never be the same. And I'm so excited for life to change, but I still want to relish these last few weeks with MBL!

We ended up in Orla.ndo because MBL had the opportunity to go to a conference and so his work footed the bill for his flight down there and our hotel for four nights. That meant we only had to pay for my food, my flight, and two nights of a hotel stay. And considering the fact that we spent $25,000 in medical expenses last year, we needed this trip to be budget friendly. We ended up using points for my plane ticket and so it was a really economical trip! MBL was at the conference for most of the day the first three days we were there, but I SOOO enjoyed relaxing and reading and having time to just be. A funny thing happened the first full day we were there... I went and laid out by the pool. I usually tan perfectly, I'm lucky and have inherited my father's skin. Seriously, on our honeymoon I laid out in CAN.CUN without sunscreen (yes, I naughty!) and did not burn at all! Usually I can lay out and just get a nice brown glow. Um, apparently I should have goog.led pregnancy and sun tanning PRIOR to laying out!! I was out by the pool for 2 hours and was beyond burnt!! It was so bad on my legs that I got red raised bumps. I could barely move I was so uncomfortable. AFTER this happened I did my internet searching and discovered that some women are more prone to sunburn during pregnancy. Thankfully the Orl.ando weather helped me out and it rained the next three days, so I didn't have to feel bad about sitting inside (because I seriously could not even think about letting the sun touch my skin). I figure the burn was my penance for having a mostly uneventful and pleasant pregnancy.

Once the conference was over, MBL and I moved hotels to stay closer to Disn.ey. On our last full day, we went to Magi.c Kin.gdom and had a blast!! We took our time getting up and got to the park around noon...turns out it was spring break for a lot of schools, so the park was packed, but we still managed to enjoy ourselves :). I was impressed with the number of rides I was able to ride...yes, they were the very tame ones, but I get sick on rollercoasters, so it all worked out for me. We left for dinner and then came back and stayed until 1AM!! The only bummer of the whole day was that I had wanted to ride the Pe.ter ride and it broke down while we were in line :(. Other than that, MBL and I had a fantastic time being together and acting like kids. We also spent some time dreaming about the future and how the next time we go will likely be with OUR children. CRAZY!! By the end of the day my foot was swollen to the size of a rhino's, but it was all worth it :).

All in all, I am just in awe of every day that goes by... I know that each night I go to sleep brings us one day closer to meeting our daughter (and closer to no longer getting any sleep). We're getting SOOO close!!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

back at it :)

WOW! I have been a terrible blogger... My apologies for that. I promise to be better. MBL and I have had a busy few weeks and today was the first day in 2 weeks that I've had time to do anything productive. We were on vacation last week (yay!) and although I could have accessed the internet, I took the time away to just relax and do non-online reading. It felt good to be disconnected (for a bit, anyways). I actually read an entire book cover to cover... It's the new novel by Stirrup Queens blogger Melissa Ford and it was the PERFECT vacation read. Seriously, I loved it! I am amazed by how quickly the week went and I cannot believe that I've had two weeks off of work. I am SO not ready to go back tomorrow :(.

Anyways, I will be back to update on our travels and other happenings tomorrow (or Friday), but I want to say that I cannot believe what I came back to find... I am just as disappointed as all of the other IF bloggers over the contest "in honor of" NIAW being put on by PETA. I am seriously disgusted. If you are unfamiliar with what is going on, please visit their website here to read about it. And then you can go to this website to sign a petition against it. As a couple who suffered from male infertility, my husband and I find this "contest" to be particularly distasteful. We did not choose infertility and it is entirely inappropriate for PETA to be linking this contest to a week all about infertility awareness. I would like to write the president a letter, but right now I am too disgusted to form a well written response. So, I am trying to do what I can by informing y'all about it :). If you're curious about the responses other bloggers have received from PETA, you can visit Keiko's or Katie's blog to read more. Unfortunately, PETA sees absolutely nothing wrong with their contest and even goes as far as to say that they need to pull stunts like this to get the publicity they need. They claim it is all for a good cause: encouraging the spaying/neutering of pets to decrease the animal population and the use of euthanasia. I myself have an adopted, neutered dog and fully support that cause, but not at the expense of a human group plagued by a historically misunderstood DISEASE. What disgusts me is the fact that they are perpetuating stereotypes about infertility. They even went as far as to say that infertiles should not try to conceive because the planet is full enough... We should instead adopt, just like people who desire to have pets should adopt them from a shelter. I mean, REALLY??? Adoption of a human is just as simple as the adoption of a pet? MBL and I met our dog on a Tuesday and went to pick him up on Wednesday... Can I expect the same turn around with a human adoption? And while I love my dog dearly, I just think that it devalues humans to compare them to animals.

AHHH!!! Can you tell I'm upset? It just makes my blood boil. I just hope that we as a community can make a big enough deal out of this that they at the very least take out the reference to NIAW. I would really like them to make a formal apology, but I'm not holding my breath...