Lately I feel like my whole life has been turned upside down... And, really it has. In May I become a mom and last week I took on a new title of working mom. There is so much about my "new" life that surprises me...
-For starters, I am surprised that I am still pumping. I was going to give up back in June when I got mastitis for the first time. I then realized that I could pump 3 times a day and still get the 7-8oz I was producing when I was pumping 7-8 times a day. I've never made enough for Piper, but it makes me feel good that she is still getting some breastmilk. MBL had a TON of allergies as a kid and we know that breastmilk can help prevent some of that, so we both feel like it's good for me to continue pumping. I did get mastitis AGAIN, but it didn't make me want to give up, so for now I'm going to continue carting around my BFF: the pump.
-Another thing that surprises me is how much I LOVE staying home with Piper. I absolutely adore it. Why does this surprise me? Well, to be honest, as a babysitter, I sometimes found hanging out with kids ALL DAY to be kind of boring (please don't throw stones!). I mean I love kids and all and I think it's so neat to see them interact and change, but sometimes it was quite daunting to have to "entertain" kids all day. Well, as it turns out, it is WAY different with your own kids. I LOVE sitting on the couch and "talking" with Piper. It's funny because she actually tires of me before I tire of her. I'll want to sit and chat and she'll start fussing and as soon as I turn her around to face the world, she is happy as can be. There have actually been a few times where I've been trying to soothe her by holding/bouncing her and she doesn't stop fussing until I put her in her bouncy! Funny girl.
-On the note of loving staying home, I'm actually also enjoying going to work. I don't love my job, but the first day back was far easier than I expected it to be. It was nice to have other responsibilities than just being a mom (and I use the term "just" loosely as I personally believe it to be a perfectly fantastic job to hold). With my schedule, too, I feel like I get the best of both worlds, I work Wednesdays and every other weekend. She goes to daycare one day a week and then on the weekends when I work she will be home with her daddy. I'm actually glad that MBL will get a chance to parent her by herself... I think it will be good for all of us! Plus with the IVF debt we still have and my school loans coming due, it's nice to have the extra income! We could definitely make it work for me to stay home all the time, but it would mean sacrificing a lot and, at this point, it makes more sense for me to work. And, thankfully, I'm learning that it's not so bad.
-What else is surprising? Just how HARD being a working momma is! I work 10 hours days and I am the one who picks up Piper from daycare. I leave work, go pick her up, head home where I am greeted by a dog that has been neglected all day, and then have to tend to the nightly things like dinner, dishes, feedings, diaper changes, and preparing for the next day. I don't want to start a debate on this, but I am beyond impressed by mommas who do this every day... My hat goes off to all those working moms who somehow manage to get it all done! I don't think I could do it.
-Speaking of that, I am surprised by just how much work being a stay at home mom is. I knew it was going to be tough, but I'm surprised by how wonderful and yet equally difficult it is. Trying to accomplish all that needs to get done on a daily basis is truly a large task. I don't know how households with two working parents do it. My house is a disaster, even though I spend a large part of my time trying to keep it clean. I am convinced that if I worked full time we would need to hire a maid.
-Lastly, I am surprised by just how ready I am to start trying for #2. I am equally surprised by just how eager MBL is, too. I've decided that I really want my kids to be close in age. Ideally, I'd like to be done by the time I'm thirty, which gives us 4 years and 2 months to have two more children. I know I'm being rather bold by assuming I'll be able to have those children, but I'm holding on to optimism over here :). Actually, MBL and I have decided that if it takes another $25,000 to get our second child, then we will probably just have two kids. I really want three (at one point we wanted four...), but I don't want to sacrifice future family trips and weeks at camp in order to get to that number. We're just waiting for my cycle to start and then we'll begin the fun process of temping and timing and waiting and hoping... All over again!