two years later...

On Monday, MBL and I celebrated our two year wedding anniversary. We celebrated by going to IK.EA with my mom and my sister and then having Giorda.nos pizza with the rest of my family. Not exactly what I envisioned, but it was quite perfect. I nearly burst into tears at IK.EA realizing that I didn't care whether or not MBL and I had the perfect, most romantic anniversary celebration because I currently have everything I ever wanted. I have a husband for whom I am more crazy than when I married him two years ago. And the one thing that escaped us for 21 months of that marriage is now growing inside me. We began TTC the day we got married. We went into our honeymoon believing that in a few short weeks or months we would get a positive test and our lives would change forever. Our honeymoon was blissful as we looked forward to the rest of our lives together, envisioning lots and lots of babies. We celebrated our first anniversary with much of the same excitement...wondering if our first IVF had worked. A few days later we were delivered the crushing news that it had not. I know I've mentioned it before, but I really can't believe how far we've come. This time last year was so difficult, so full of pain and sadness. I really didn't know if I was going to make it. I didn't know if our dreams of becoming parents would ever come true. And now I sit here feeling occasional pops, knowing that inside of me is our daughter.

Two years is a long time. I would never wish what we went through to get here on anyone, but as I reflect on my marriage I realize that MBL and I allowed our infertility to bring us closer together. It was not easy and at times we fought harder than I ever imagined we would, but eventually we realized that we needed to work together and lean on each other in order to make it through in one piece. And it worked. And now I wake up each morning so grateful for the man lying next to me...even if he has stolen all of the covers and has crept over to my side of the bed. I was reminded of how far we've come when our 2.5/3 hour trip home from my parents turned into a 9 hour trip due to our car essentially breaking down from the weight of our IK.EA treasures. Instead of flipping out at each other and getting cranky about the situation, we took silly pictures as we waited in a random parking lot and enjoyed the scenery on the back roads as we drove the last 50 miles home going only 25 miles per hour. We took our lemons and we made lemonade. I can only imagine that our future will again hold trials, troubles, and heartache; but I know now that MBL and I can make it through. And that? That knowledge? Is the best gift I ever could have asked for.

p.s. Sorry to got all emo in this post...I have apparently entered the super sensitive to everything part of pregnancy (case and point? I nearly cried over how badly I wanted Ta.co Be.ll for dinner).