Last night as I was doing my best to fall asleep, I couldn't help but think about our infertility journey. We are at the point where we are facing TTC again and I am completely scared out of my mind. A part of me liked the fact that AF has been absent while I've been pumping for Piper because it meant that I didn't have to think about timing things, temperature taking, and peeing on sticks. The 21 months leading up to our BFP were so unbelievably painful. And, unfortunately, a BFP and a healthy baby haven't "cured" me from being an infertile. No, I have no idea how long it will take to conceive #2, but I'm gearing up for the long haul. Even though I am prepared for a lengthy journey, I am not immune to the jealousy and heartache that comes along with struggling to conceive. I swear, up until two weeks ago, I felt nothing but bliss about my new life and pregnancy announcements didn't bother me. Now? I'm back to longing for a bump of my own. One of my closest friends just told me that in light of a recent health scare she and her husband may begin TTC in the next few months. This means we would be TTC at the same time. My last friend to announce this to me showed up at our next get together (3 months later) and announced she was 13 weeks pregnant. Which means she got pregnant on the first shot. I wasn't really upset about it then, I had a newborn and my mind was not thinking about TTC. But now? I'm sad. And scared. It seems silly to say that I'm scared, but what I really mean is that I am SO not looking forward to all the emotions that come along with BFN after BFN. I'm scared about the amount of time it will take. I'm scared of the jealousy I will feel towards my friend should #2 take as long to conceive as #1. I'm scared of the decisions MBL and I will have to face if it comes down to needing to see the RE again. I'm scared of going back on fertility meds. Most of all, I'm scared that I'll never have what I so desperately want: my family of five.
Infertility is particularly frustrating because having children seems like such a simple task to the majority of the population. You time things right a few months (or WOOPS! you forget to use birth control) and nine months later you are holding a precious baby. For those of us in the ALI (adoption, loss, infertility) community, things aren't that easy and the difficulty and pain we experience during the process of building our families is often misunderstood or brushed off by those who haven't experienced it themselves. Which makes it even worse.
I have blogged about this before (many times), but MBL and I are pretty open with what it took to get pregnant and just how Piper was created. We feel good sharing our story because, in doing so, we hope that we are able to help others understand infertility a little better. We are trying to put a face with a disease that so many people view as just an inconvenience. Doing this has both positive and negative consequences for us. The positives are obvious: we are increasing awareness about IF and the treatments for it. We are trying to debunk myths about infertility and, I think, we have been fairly successful at this. The negatives are a little harder to understand, but now that I am a mom who longs for another, it's hard because everyone knows about it. They know we are going to try again right away. The know we had a hard time the last time. And, the tough part, is that I want them to ask me how it's going. I want them to care that it took a lot to get Piper and that our journey to #2 and #3 might not be easy. I want their sympathy and their listening ears, but, at the same time, I feel embarassed that we struggle with infertility. I want to conceive easily like my cousins. I want to be able to live a life without REs or fertility drugs or fear of losing my pregnancy. In short, I want to be a fertile. I want to be "normal". Really, I want to not be obesessing about how much time it may or may not take to get pregnant again!
I guess all of this proves that the saying is true, "Once an infertile, always an infertile." At least I have a community who understands!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
embracing my story
Lately I've been thinking a lot about my story and how I got to where I am today. I've been through a lot these past three years. First it was everything we went through to get pregnant, then it was being scared out of my mind for 9 months straight, then it was troubles nursing, then it was low supply, followed by post partum anxiety... And, now, we're facing TTC #2 and as much as I want to be hopeful, I'm planning on it taking a bunch of work to get pregnant (again). As much as all of those things sucked and, if I had it my way, I would rather that things came easily, but they didn't. What I can do, though, is learn from all of it. Embrace who it has made me.
When I think back to when MBL and I started TTC, I can remember just how certain I felt that we would return from our honeymoon and I would get a positive test. As a matter of fact, I had a box of tests waiting for me. Little did I know that the next 20 months would involve a whole heck of a lot of negative pee sticks. I don't know how I would have felt if I had gotten a positive that first month. But, I can tell you that a positive after all that time, was incredible. And being a mom after dreaming about the experience for nearly 2.5 years, is better than I imagined it would be. If I had become a mom at 23 after only trying for one month, I'm sure I would have enjoyed it, but would I have loved it as much as I do? Piper has spit up on me, pooped on me, drooled all over me, and my response is always the same, "I went through a lot to get to this place." I don't take the little things for granted and I think a lot of it is because of all I went through to get here. And, even though IF is an ugly witch, I am grateful that it taught me to be thankful for the little things that come along with being a parent.
One thing that IF taught me, is to be open with my story. And experiencing PP anxiety and supply issues only increased my openness. Now that I am involved in mom's groups, I get a lot of questions about BFing, being a mom, and having more children. Instead of pretending like I have it all together, I make it known that I have struggled. The things I have gone through are all kind of embarassing. No one wants to struggle to conceive, be unable to provide enough food for their baby, and feel like they can't handle parenthood... BUT, I know I'm not alone in my struggles and by talking to people about what I have gone through, I open the door for them to share their struggles. Plus, all of those struggles have relieved me from the pretense that I am perfect or that I have it all together :). And I like it that way. It's not what I would have originally chosen for myself, but I'm choosing to embrace my story. It's shaped me into who I am and I'm pretty happy with that.
So, do you think now that I've learned all of that I can get pregnant with #2 on the first try? Please?
When I think back to when MBL and I started TTC, I can remember just how certain I felt that we would return from our honeymoon and I would get a positive test. As a matter of fact, I had a box of tests waiting for me. Little did I know that the next 20 months would involve a whole heck of a lot of negative pee sticks. I don't know how I would have felt if I had gotten a positive that first month. But, I can tell you that a positive after all that time, was incredible. And being a mom after dreaming about the experience for nearly 2.5 years, is better than I imagined it would be. If I had become a mom at 23 after only trying for one month, I'm sure I would have enjoyed it, but would I have loved it as much as I do? Piper has spit up on me, pooped on me, drooled all over me, and my response is always the same, "I went through a lot to get to this place." I don't take the little things for granted and I think a lot of it is because of all I went through to get here. And, even though IF is an ugly witch, I am grateful that it taught me to be thankful for the little things that come along with being a parent.
One thing that IF taught me, is to be open with my story. And experiencing PP anxiety and supply issues only increased my openness. Now that I am involved in mom's groups, I get a lot of questions about BFing, being a mom, and having more children. Instead of pretending like I have it all together, I make it known that I have struggled. The things I have gone through are all kind of embarassing. No one wants to struggle to conceive, be unable to provide enough food for their baby, and feel like they can't handle parenthood... BUT, I know I'm not alone in my struggles and by talking to people about what I have gone through, I open the door for them to share their struggles. Plus, all of those struggles have relieved me from the pretense that I am perfect or that I have it all together :). And I like it that way. It's not what I would have originally chosen for myself, but I'm choosing to embrace my story. It's shaped me into who I am and I'm pretty happy with that.
So, do you think now that I've learned all of that I can get pregnant with #2 on the first try? Please?
Friday, October 21, 2011
a new journey...
Hello to all here from ICLW :). Most of my story is on the left side of my blog, but in a nutshell, we went through a year of fertility treatments before we got our BFP on IVF #2 last September. Our beautiful baby girl was born on May 25th and we are loving each and every day with her!
Now what is this new journey my blog title is hinting at? The journey of ttc #2. Obviously, we are well aware of what TTC entails. It took us 21 months to get our sticky BFP, but I feel like I will be approaching it with a new mindset. As an infertile who has experienced pregnancy, part of me is hoping that my body is now "fixed" and that MBL and I will be able to get pregnant with just a roll in the hay. A huge part of me is terrified about what will happen if we are unable to get pregnant that way. I am SOOOO not looking forward to having to do more infertility treatments/medications. I would LOVE to skip that!
In order to get the TTC #2 train rolling, however, I need to stop pumping. I was all ready to quit about 4 months ago and, somehow, I'm still going strong. BUT, I am apparently sensitive to prolactin and AF isn't going to come without weaning Piper. I was spotting a bit yesterday and I was beyond excited...it's so weird to actually want AF to arrive! I'm hoping that November will bring me my first PPAF (post partum aunt flow) and that we will be able to officially start TTC. In my head I've decided that if we aren't pregnant by Piper's first birthday, we will begin treatments again, but I know myself too well and I may want to start sooner than that (if necessary and if I can convince MBL :). Temping, charting, and OPKs will soon be a big part of my life again. And, I imagine, so will BFNs. I just hope there is another BFP in my future. Now that I know what a joy it is to be a parent, I can't wait to do it again...
Now what is this new journey my blog title is hinting at? The journey of ttc #2. Obviously, we are well aware of what TTC entails. It took us 21 months to get our sticky BFP, but I feel like I will be approaching it with a new mindset. As an infertile who has experienced pregnancy, part of me is hoping that my body is now "fixed" and that MBL and I will be able to get pregnant with just a roll in the hay. A huge part of me is terrified about what will happen if we are unable to get pregnant that way. I am SOOOO not looking forward to having to do more infertility treatments/medications. I would LOVE to skip that!
In order to get the TTC #2 train rolling, however, I need to stop pumping. I was all ready to quit about 4 months ago and, somehow, I'm still going strong. BUT, I am apparently sensitive to prolactin and AF isn't going to come without weaning Piper. I was spotting a bit yesterday and I was beyond excited...it's so weird to actually want AF to arrive! I'm hoping that November will bring me my first PPAF (post partum aunt flow) and that we will be able to officially start TTC. In my head I've decided that if we aren't pregnant by Piper's first birthday, we will begin treatments again, but I know myself too well and I may want to start sooner than that (if necessary and if I can convince MBL :). Temping, charting, and OPKs will soon be a big part of my life again. And, I imagine, so will BFNs. I just hope there is another BFP in my future. Now that I know what a joy it is to be a parent, I can't wait to do it again...
Saturday, October 15, 2011
old familiar places...
Monday was a good day. First, I went to my moms' group and we put together an apple pie. I didn't actually bake it as I can't be trusted to be home alone with an entire pie. I froze it to use for my small group dinner next week. After a somewhat cranky day at home with Piper, I dropped her off with MBL at work and headed to my favorite running path. It was around 80ish degrees here on Monday and I wanted to take full advantage! As I was running around the path, I couldn't help but reflect on how my life has evolved over my 7 years as a runner. And that running path? I've been going there that entire time... Although, I did have to take a two year hiatus during our IF treatments. When I started running that path I was 19 years old, single, and going to college... 7 years later I am married, happy, and a mom! That path has seen my deepest frustrations and hurts and, on Monday, it got to see the best of me. The happiest and most fulfilled I have felt in years. My birthday is next week and I can honestly say that I am exactly where I want to be. I am sure, in the future, I will run that path again and I am so hoping that as time goes on I am able to be as sure of myself as I was on Monday. Happy and content and exactly where I want to be.
Another familiar place I will be visiting again? This lovely city:
And this time? We are attempting it with a 5 month old!! Yep, that's right, we're bringing the baby. MBL is pretty excited about showing her one of our favorite cities. And I'm pretty excited to go there again! The last time we went was in November of 2009 and we were just about to start our first IVF cycle. We were full of hope and certain that by January we would have our much desired positive pee stick. One sore point of the trip was that we had applied to get financial help with our IVF meds as we were paying out of pocket and I was about to leave on a day of sightseeing when I got the call that we were denied coverage. I remember holding back tears at each museum I visited. I was crushed and so certain that it meant doom for our journey to baby. But, that is just about the only IF related sore that I remember from that trip. Mostly I remember having a great time hopping from museum to museum and going out in the evenings with MBL. I LOVED the city and I'm both excited and anxious to try and navigate it with a baby in tow. I'm sure there are other people in NYC with infants who get around just fine :). I am so thankful that on this trip I won't be holding back tears or worrying about shots. SO. THANKFUL.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
A decision?
Sorry it has taken me so long to get back here and update on our "are we moving?" situation. Basically, since my initial post, there has been a lot of back and forth communcation between MBL and I. Yes, it's odd to say that I am "communicating" with my spouse, but we have been crazy busy here and we've nearly had to schedule time to chat!
To make a long story short, we decided to tell International that we are interested in having MBL take a temporary position with them. The way it would work is that MBL and I would go over to The Netherlands for 3-6 months so that MBL could get to know the office over there and establish himself as a knowledgeable and dependable part of the team. We would then come back here and MBL would continue to work for International for the following year and a half. At that point, he would go back to his current position at the US side of the company. We realized that we cannot move to Chic.ago or The Nether.lands full time right now because our house is not in sellable condition. We would have to put quite a bit of money into to get it on the market, and it is highly unlikely that we would see a return on that money... So, we are keeping our home base here :).
Nothing is official yet, as MBL has to send International the "number" he is thinking as far as salary. And I have more exciting details to share, but I will have to come back here to do that, as I am wiped out from a week of single mom-ing it and my bed is calling out to me!
To make a long story short, we decided to tell International that we are interested in having MBL take a temporary position with them. The way it would work is that MBL and I would go over to The Netherlands for 3-6 months so that MBL could get to know the office over there and establish himself as a knowledgeable and dependable part of the team. We would then come back here and MBL would continue to work for International for the following year and a half. At that point, he would go back to his current position at the US side of the company. We realized that we cannot move to Chic.ago or The Nether.lands full time right now because our house is not in sellable condition. We would have to put quite a bit of money into to get it on the market, and it is highly unlikely that we would see a return on that money... So, we are keeping our home base here :).
Nothing is official yet, as MBL has to send International the "number" he is thinking as far as salary. And I have more exciting details to share, but I will have to come back here to do that, as I am wiped out from a week of single mom-ing it and my bed is calling out to me!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
changes are coming!!
**Before I get started, I want to say that if you know me in real life, please do not post about this on FB or mention this to any of my family members as I want to be able to share the final outcome when the time is right...**
Now that I have you all sufficiently scared/interested, I have to say that this week was a big one in our house. And it has absolutely nothing to do with Piper or adding any new babies to the mix (although, I am still wondering where AF is...).
The big news is that it is very likely that we will be making a big move in the near future. For a few months now, MBL has known that the international side of the business where he works was interested in bringing him on board. They had discussed potential job opportunities with him back in July, but he was told that the money for those positions was not approved and so it was unlikely anything would happen until next July (when the new fiscal year begins). So, when MBL was called into a meeting with two of the head honchos from international on Friday, he thought nothing of it. And then they told him that they want him on board. Now. When MBL asked about the timeline for this position, like when it would start, the response was, "Tomorrow?". No, they do not actually expect us to be able to make such a huge transition quickly, but it is clear that they want MBL as soon as possible.
Why does this job opportunity mean big change for our family? Because this means that we will be making a big move...
Option #1
Option #2
Basically, MBL is on his fourth trip to the Nether.lands in the last year and that is where most of the work for his new role would be focused. This does not mean that we as a family have to move there, but it would certainly be convenient for his new job. He was told that, at first, it will be crucial for him to have a presence there. The head of international did not move there, but said that he basically spent a whole month there when he first started work. I do not think I would do well with MBL gone for a whole month, especially since we live so far away from family (well, not really far away, but not down the road either).
If we do not move our family there, then we will definitely be moving from our current location to be near my parents. If MBL is going to be gone abroad several times a month, then I will need the support of my family to make it through. Right now we live out in the country and it's just not possible for me to maintain the house/housework, work part time, and raise Piper. And while I am resigned to having dirty floors in exchange for precious play time with my daughter, living here in the winter without MBL around to clear our driveway is just not reasonable. Plus, I get lonely when he is gone and it would be so nice to have my parents near by. So, if we decide to stay here in the states, then we would likely move to the Chi.cago area.
As you can see, no matter what we are faced with a huge life change ahead of us. MBL and I basically spent most of yesterday in silent shock over the reality of what this means for our family. On one hand, this is exciting! MBL is basically being offered a significant promotion and this job offer shows us just how much his company values his work. It would be a great career move for him and a new adventure for us. We both love to travel and would be thrilled to instill that love in Piper at such a young age. At the same time, we are terrified. I have lived in this area since I started college 8 years ago and MBL has lived here for 10 years. That's a long time! As much as I hate the winter, I've grown to enjoy our small city. I know where the farmer's market is, I recently joined a mommy group, and I have fantastic friends. I am comfortable here. But, I do not think it would be appropriate to allow our fear of the unknown to drive our decision.
As I was laying in bed last night, still trying to process it all, a compromise of sorts came to mind. We may decide to move to The Neth.erlands for a short(er) amount of time and then move to Chic.ago. That way, MBL could get to know the staff in the Nether.lands and be available locally during his transition into his new role, but we wouldn't have to commit to permanently living there. After six months or so, we could move to Chic.ago and then MBL would travel there when he was needed. It is likely that he would travel a week or so every 4-6 weeks, but if we kept our home "base" in the US, then we wouldn't have to worry about making family travel internationally to visit us. Plus, I really don't want Piper's grandparents/aunts/uncles to miss out on the first two years of her life! But, as of right now, no decisions have been made... We're still trying to process it all!
So, there it is, our big news. I'm all at once excited and scared out of my mind about this new chapter in our journey!
Now that I have you all sufficiently scared/interested, I have to say that this week was a big one in our house. And it has absolutely nothing to do with Piper or adding any new babies to the mix (although, I am still wondering where AF is...).
The big news is that it is very likely that we will be making a big move in the near future. For a few months now, MBL has known that the international side of the business where he works was interested in bringing him on board. They had discussed potential job opportunities with him back in July, but he was told that the money for those positions was not approved and so it was unlikely anything would happen until next July (when the new fiscal year begins). So, when MBL was called into a meeting with two of the head honchos from international on Friday, he thought nothing of it. And then they told him that they want him on board. Now. When MBL asked about the timeline for this position, like when it would start, the response was, "Tomorrow?". No, they do not actually expect us to be able to make such a huge transition quickly, but it is clear that they want MBL as soon as possible.
Why does this job opportunity mean big change for our family? Because this means that we will be making a big move...
Option #1
Option #2
Basically, MBL is on his fourth trip to the Nether.lands in the last year and that is where most of the work for his new role would be focused. This does not mean that we as a family have to move there, but it would certainly be convenient for his new job. He was told that, at first, it will be crucial for him to have a presence there. The head of international did not move there, but said that he basically spent a whole month there when he first started work. I do not think I would do well with MBL gone for a whole month, especially since we live so far away from family (well, not really far away, but not down the road either).
If we do not move our family there, then we will definitely be moving from our current location to be near my parents. If MBL is going to be gone abroad several times a month, then I will need the support of my family to make it through. Right now we live out in the country and it's just not possible for me to maintain the house/housework, work part time, and raise Piper. And while I am resigned to having dirty floors in exchange for precious play time with my daughter, living here in the winter without MBL around to clear our driveway is just not reasonable. Plus, I get lonely when he is gone and it would be so nice to have my parents near by. So, if we decide to stay here in the states, then we would likely move to the Chi.cago area.
As you can see, no matter what we are faced with a huge life change ahead of us. MBL and I basically spent most of yesterday in silent shock over the reality of what this means for our family. On one hand, this is exciting! MBL is basically being offered a significant promotion and this job offer shows us just how much his company values his work. It would be a great career move for him and a new adventure for us. We both love to travel and would be thrilled to instill that love in Piper at such a young age. At the same time, we are terrified. I have lived in this area since I started college 8 years ago and MBL has lived here for 10 years. That's a long time! As much as I hate the winter, I've grown to enjoy our small city. I know where the farmer's market is, I recently joined a mommy group, and I have fantastic friends. I am comfortable here. But, I do not think it would be appropriate to allow our fear of the unknown to drive our decision.
As I was laying in bed last night, still trying to process it all, a compromise of sorts came to mind. We may decide to move to The Neth.erlands for a short(er) amount of time and then move to Chic.ago. That way, MBL could get to know the staff in the Nether.lands and be available locally during his transition into his new role, but we wouldn't have to commit to permanently living there. After six months or so, we could move to Chic.ago and then MBL would travel there when he was needed. It is likely that he would travel a week or so every 4-6 weeks, but if we kept our home "base" in the US, then we wouldn't have to worry about making family travel internationally to visit us. Plus, I really don't want Piper's grandparents/aunts/uncles to miss out on the first two years of her life! But, as of right now, no decisions have been made... We're still trying to process it all!
So, there it is, our big news. I'm all at once excited and scared out of my mind about this new chapter in our journey!
Monday, September 19, 2011
everything that comes to mind...
Sorry for the lack of blog posts. Our busyness has continued into the early fall. My baby sister got married the weekend after Labor Day and because of that we spent four day in Chi.cago. Piper was the flower girl. MBL escorted her down the aisle and it was absolutely precious. We had a blast and when it was time to pack up, we could not believe we had been there for four days! One of the things that has been keeping me from posting here is the fact that I keep thinking of too many things to blog about... So, I am going to make this a bullet point post, that way it won't seem so strange that my topics aren't interrelated.
•I am still pumping. Still doing it three times a day and still only making around 7oz. I actually don’t mind it that much, but if I haven’t gotten PPAF (post partum aunt flow) by the time Piper is six months old, I will stop. The reason for that is that we want to TTC as soon as we can and take advantage of the supposed post-pregnancy fertile time and if I haven’t gotten PPAF by that time, I will need to stop pumping in order to get her to come back.
•Speaking of TTC #2, I’m already worried about how long it will take and if we will even be successful. It’s so silly to worry about it before we even begin, but that doesn’t stop by from doing it! I just want to be able to get pregnant the “easy” way. I don’t want to have to go through all the meds and money again. I know it’s selfish, but I don’t want to try clo.mid again… I’ve just gotten back into running and I can’t do that if I’m on fertility meds. I also do not want multiples… I know that my chances are low on clo.mid and I would surely be happy with whatever success we achieved, but twins would be a lot.
•MBL and I would really love to have 3 kids and I really hate that because we have fertility problems I can’t just assume that we’ll be able to achieve that. We kind of decided that if we need IVF for #2 that’s all we’ll have, but I wonder if I’ll really be able to give up our dream of having three children. Would we try IVF again to get #3? Would I always regret it if I didn’t? IF still sucks.
•I will say, though, that IF has made me really grateful for the gift I have been given. Every day of being a mom isn’t easy, but I really love it and whenever something stressful/disgusting happens I try to think, “I’d rather ¬_____ and have Piper than not have ¬¬¬¬___ and no Piper." For example, the other week Piper pooped all over herself and me. FUN! And while I was mildly grossed out, all I could think is, “I would rather have poop all over me and have Piper than not have poop on me and not have Piper.” All the time I think of those of you who are still waiting… Waiting on adoption papers, waiting to begin IF treatments, or waiting for your BFP (for #1, #2, or whatever number you want!). I am so thankful that I have Piper. It doesn’t erase all the pain of infertility, but it certainly eases it. And because I am aware of the pain of IF, I am thankful every day that I get to be a mom.
•All right, I have to go wake Piper up from her 3.5 hour nap… Poor little pumpkin has her first cold!
•I am still pumping. Still doing it three times a day and still only making around 7oz. I actually don’t mind it that much, but if I haven’t gotten PPAF (post partum aunt flow) by the time Piper is six months old, I will stop. The reason for that is that we want to TTC as soon as we can and take advantage of the supposed post-pregnancy fertile time and if I haven’t gotten PPAF by that time, I will need to stop pumping in order to get her to come back.
•Speaking of TTC #2, I’m already worried about how long it will take and if we will even be successful. It’s so silly to worry about it before we even begin, but that doesn’t stop by from doing it! I just want to be able to get pregnant the “easy” way. I don’t want to have to go through all the meds and money again. I know it’s selfish, but I don’t want to try clo.mid again… I’ve just gotten back into running and I can’t do that if I’m on fertility meds. I also do not want multiples… I know that my chances are low on clo.mid and I would surely be happy with whatever success we achieved, but twins would be a lot.
•MBL and I would really love to have 3 kids and I really hate that because we have fertility problems I can’t just assume that we’ll be able to achieve that. We kind of decided that if we need IVF for #2 that’s all we’ll have, but I wonder if I’ll really be able to give up our dream of having three children. Would we try IVF again to get #3? Would I always regret it if I didn’t? IF still sucks.
•I will say, though, that IF has made me really grateful for the gift I have been given. Every day of being a mom isn’t easy, but I really love it and whenever something stressful/disgusting happens I try to think, “I’d rather ¬_____ and have Piper than not have ¬¬¬¬___ and no Piper." For example, the other week Piper pooped all over herself and me. FUN! And while I was mildly grossed out, all I could think is, “I would rather have poop all over me and have Piper than not have poop on me and not have Piper.” All the time I think of those of you who are still waiting… Waiting on adoption papers, waiting to begin IF treatments, or waiting for your BFP (for #1, #2, or whatever number you want!). I am so thankful that I have Piper. It doesn’t erase all the pain of infertility, but it certainly eases it. And because I am aware of the pain of IF, I am thankful every day that I get to be a mom.
•All right, I have to go wake Piper up from her 3.5 hour nap… Poor little pumpkin has her first cold!
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